Saturday, December 31, 2011

Waiting to Understand

It's been 25 days since our Sweet Alexandra became an angel.  Five year-olds should not become angels.

I'm still trying to figure out what makes each day worthwhile enough to get out of bed.  I've experienced these feelings 26 a
nd 27 years ago, but I lived through it...th.en.  Now I have to watch the same pain on my daughter's face after burying her daughter, my granddaughter.

I know this is a year of firsts....already made it through my first birthday without my baby girl...first Christmas...first New Year's Eve and as I sit here thinking about the first New Year without her, I hate it.  I don't remember how I survived 2 year's worth of 'firsts' back to back, so long ago, all I know right now is I don't want to do it again.  

Goodnight Alexandra, Grandma will write again tomorrow and remember, you'll ALWAYS be Grandma's Baby Girl.  Muah